The things you are granted get taken!!!
These are some of the things I took for granted in my life that I won’t ever not appreciate whole heartedly again
1. Food – I never thought about whether or not I was eating right or the right foods in fact when I was a meth addict I simply wouldn’t eat at all some days or even weeks… My body is now teaching me a very valuable lesson in the importance of every single bite I place in my mouth and how what I put into my body or don’t can have an array of effects on not just my body but my moods, my head space , my confidence, and my quality of life. I will never take food for granted again.
2. Water – I was once lucky to have a glass of water once a month instead opting for fizzy sugar filled drinks, coffee and wine by the bucket load . My skin is now paying for that poor decision made over years of neglecting the one thing I needed most . I now drink up to 3 litres of water each and every day thanks to Sirs constant reminders and my need to rehydrate my skin and organs and after such neglect I swear my kidneys are in shock to say the least . During my meth addiction I could go days without visiting the bathroom and was so dehydrated at times that my urine smelt of ammonia . If the meth didn’t kill me eventually lack of water would have !!! Toilet breaks are now part and parcel of my daily ritual besides rehydrating my skin with creams and moisturisers to help the healing process of my psoriasis .
3. The sea – I lived near the beach my whole life and never paid attention to the benefits of salt water or spent anytime there much at all. Things have now changed. If I’m not at the beach daily with Sir as we live opposite then I’m sitting with my feet in salt water at home as it helps the healing and soothes the constant burning feeling that is associated with this auto immune disease.
4. The sun- another of life’s blessings that I definately took for granted and am now paying a high price for.
I have pale freckled skin so always justified being pale or pasty white for not wanting to get sunburnt or skin cancer! Heads up moron the sun is the best form of vitamin D there is and depriving myself of that by spending two years indoors up all night in a drug induced state stopped me getting the much needed vitamin D your body requires and lack of it is known to be a contributing factor to those with psoriasis. So I now have every excuse to lay on the beach or in our yard soaking up the rays for an hour twice a day to help my skin heal and the warmer climate where I now live with Sir is a blessing as keeping skin from drying out is most important with my skin condition. No more air con for this princess .
5. Patience – I have always been a if I want something I want it there and then kind of girl . Not anymore . If i had been that way inclined as before I would have never met Sir or found real love and instead ended up with one of the winners I went on dates with before meeting him. Patience was definately a virtue worth having . He has taught me this more so with his calming nature and constant patience in trying new treatments and having to change parts of his lifestyle and routine to suit my disease. He is kind when I am depressed, he makes me laugh when I feel like crying and he shows me more than anyone that I am loved not for my looks or what I can give him but for the person I am and the love he gets from me in return . I am one very lucky girl and I am glad he came into my life when he did as I don’t think anyone else from my past would have had the patience to help me get through the changes I needed to make .
6. Love – I took love for granted once and paid the heftiest of prices for it.
I will never take the love of another for granted or not reciprocate my feelings , emotions or thoughts for that human being
7. Family – I was one of the lucky ones I know this in my heart to have got through my addiction and it was only due to the family and friends who stood by my side and made me feel like I was worth their effort that got me through it . I was blessed completely to have there unconditionally love , patience, devotion to me getting better and blessed that they did not leave me when I needed them most to help me on my journey. They were my rocks when I stumbled, my lifeline to my past and the me I used to be and the ones who held my hand every horrible step of the way without question and I thank god everyday that they saw and knew the person I once was underneath the bullshit, lies and deceit before my addiction took hold and believed in me enough to know I could again regain control of my life.
I placed far too much importance on things in my past that are meaningless unless you have the love, support and respect of the people you cherish most like material possessions and the way I looked. My family, friends and Sir are far more impressed with my willingness to stay true to my word, my determination to get better and hopefully respect me more now for showing them that there efforts to help my survive my addiction and not end up as a statistic were not in vain and that I was brave enough and loved them enough to own up to my poor decisions and bad choices in my life and fight like I never had before .
These are the lessons I want my children to learn from . Not that possessions make you who you are but that it is far more important to love yourself enough to take the first step and try everyday as you only ever get one life and although mine has been a rollarcoaster so far it has got me where I desperately needed to be …. Alive and standing on my own two feet again and although that is sometimes painful it is something I will always be greatful for .
Chat soon xx
THE PAST can BITE me 