Debbie Downer was officially in town last night. A fictional character that in my meth days with my Sir was the stage in the getting high process we referred to as coming down ,because I knew that when he started to come down my few days with him was coming to an end very quickly and it would then make me upset and sooky.
Last night was me Playing Debbie Downer without the meth due to my own private pity party.
Having a bit of a hard time at the moment but am well aware that meth wont change anything. In fact it would just make my situation and disappointment I’m feeling far worse,but it doesn’t mean it wasn’t the first thing that came to my head to ease my hurt and numb myself.
and the one person I wanted to talk me through it was why I was feeling sad.
Anyway I finally got up around 10 this morning after spending a long time being talked through how I was feeling and crying hysterically with someone who understands the loss and disappointment more than anyone as they have been exactly where I am right now.
Thank you my beautiful friend Annab for getting me through last night without throwing everything I’ve worked so hard to get through away,even though you are dealing with your own loss you showed me that my friendship during your grieving was worth every second and that there are people out there in the world who care about being there for me in return . And to those that reached out through my blog thank you also.
I know that support cant change my want, only I can actually choose not to use but talking me through the reasons for my sadness and just listening to me helped more than you know. So thank you .
I can’t change my disappointment on they way things are currently but I can continue to keep promises I’ve made to those important to me ( they know who they are) and to myself ,knowing that I can still make it if I just stay strong and trust that life will eventually get sick of making me the bridesmaid .